"Unforeseeable, that's what you are."

A few weeks ago I had to write an analysis of a movie for one of my classes at uni. We were given a few choices and I picked In The Loop (2009) written and directed by Armando Iannucci, which had been on my must-see-movie-list for a while anyway.

And I discovered a gem.

Peter Capaldi.

And his character in the film Malcolm Tucker.

As I was watching the movie I thought, 'wait a sec this guy has a scottish accent, and a pretty strong one as well, he must be from Glasgow!', and so I IMDb'ed that "S-star-star-T". (I'm determent to make IMDb a verb like Google.)

And low and behold he is. I do apologise though for my lack of knowledge of this little fact before.

So I introduce to you Peter Capaldi.

He was born and brought up in Glasgow and went to Glasgow School of Arts. While studying there he got his breakthrough role in the film Local Hero (1983). He did a bunch of other films, including Soft Top Hard Shoulder (1993) and won a BAFTA Scotland for his performance in it, but he mostly had roles on TV shows.

In 1995 he directed and wrote the short film Franz Kafka's It's a Wonderful Life, which won him an Academy Award for best short film (live action).

But then he did the role he was born to play. Malcolm Tucker, the foul-mothered communications manager, in the series The Thick of It (which In The Loop is based on).

I cannot even begin to explain how much I laughed when I was watching the film and how much I laugh every time I remember a quote. It's just hilarious and I can't even imagine how funny the series must have been. If you haven't seen the film yet, I suggest you do so right away because you're missing out big time. Also watch it with english subtitles you don't wanna miss any jokes.

I can only compare Malcolm Tucker to two other TV characters that have ever existed, the 'legend-wait for it-dary' Sue Sylverster (of Glee) and Ari Gold (of Entourage). If you're not watching either of these shows you're missing out just because of these two characters alone.
I mean the writers that come up with the stuff these characters say must be disturbed, but hey, it's still entertainment.

Malcolm Tucker (Click here for his awesome quotes)

Sue Sylvester (Click here for some of her awesome quotes)

Ari Gold (Click here for some of his awesome quotes)

Can you imagine the awesomeness if they all joined forces together. It would just be too epic.

Clicky for even more awesomeness.

So I've pretty much said all I have to say about Peter here, so as is custom, I'll leave you with this video of Peter Capaldi promoting In The Loop on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson:

Oh you want more? OK then, here are some of my favourite Malcolm Tucker quotes, please excuse the language, it's not like I'm the one saying these things...

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Malcolm Tucker: Within your 'purview'? Where do you think you are, some fucking regency costume drama? This is a government department, not some fucking Jane fucking Austen novel! Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet on your purview and ram it up your shitter with a lubricated horse cock!

Judy: Your swearing does not impress me. My husband works for Tower Hamlets and believe me those kids make you sound like... Angela Lansbury!

Malcolm Tucker: [to Simon] She's married? Poor bastard.

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Malcolm Tucker: "Climbing the mountain of conflict"? You sounded like a Nazi Julie Andrews! 

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Malcolm Tucker: Y'know, I've come across a lot of psychos, but none as fucking boring as you. You are a real boring fuck. Sorry, sorry, I know you disapprove of swearing so I'll sort that out. You are a boring F, star, star, CUNT!

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Malcolm Tucker: Don't ever call me fucking English again. 

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Malcolm Tucker: Fucking hung up, haven't you? You fucking hoity-toity fucking...

Tourist: Hey, buddy? Enough with the curse words, all right?

Malcolm Tucker: Kiss my sweaty balls, you fat fuck.

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Malcolm Tucker: Yeah, apparently, your fucking master race of highly-gifted toddlers can't quite get the job done...

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A.J. Brown: Your first point there, the offence? I'm afraid I'm going to have to take it. Your second point, I'm 22, but item, it's my birthday in nine days, so... if it will make you feel more comfortable, we could wait.

Malcolm Tucker: Don't get sarcastic with me, son. We burned this tight-arsed city to the ground in 1814. And I'm all for doing it again, starting with you, you frat fuck. You get sarcastic with me again and I will stuff so much cotton wool down your fucking throat it'll come out your arse like the tail on a Playboy bunny. I was led to believe I was attending the war committee. 

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Malcolm Tucker: Does that not fit within your purview, Marie Antoinette? Why don't you just scuttle off back to fucking Cranford and play around with your tea and your cakes and your fucking horse cocks. Let them eat cock!

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Malcolm Tucker: In the words of the late, great Nat King fucking Cole, unforeseeable, that's what you are.